How to Heal a Relationship After a Fight
Arguments and fights are part of every relationship. What matters is how you and your partner make efforts to reconcile. If you let the resentment and anger brew inside for long, it can cause irreparable harm to your bond. On the other hand, making efforts to reconnect after a big fight can help strengthen the relationship. However, it is easier said than done.
When egos are at play and you do not want to be the first one to reach out, reconciling after a fight is not always easy. That's why having a few effective tips and trick to reconnect after a big fight up your sleeve can help restore harmony in your relationship.
While after a fight it is important to give someone space, it is also important to have the healing conversations and fix a relationship after a huge fight. It is important to find creative ways to make up after a fight.
Why Reconnect After A Big Fight?
An awful feeling engulfs a relationship after a couple gets into a fight. If your relationship is going through a rough patch, then the equilibrium of dynamics as partners get affected by frequent fights.
You feel overwhelmed by feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness and hopelessness. In such times, it is vital to remember what makes your significant other the love of your life. In those distressing times when one fight leads to another, culminating in a nasty, big fight that makes you feel like there is no hope of repairing the damage, figuring out ways and means to bring romance back in your life is of utmost importance.
Residual anger and unresolved issues can cause damage to the foundation of your relationship, causing you and your partner to drift apart. With every small and big fight, this distance grows a little bit more, wedging a gap so wide that it is hard to plug.
It is important to address your issues and reconnect after a big fight to be able to truly move on, leaving all the grudges and resentment behind
Related Reading: The First Fight In A Relationship – What To Expect
How To Resolve A Big Fight?
The first step toward the resolution of conflict is the acceptance of the fact that fights and arguments are a part of every relationship. This will help ensure that you never allow a big fight to derail your relationship in any way. Remember bad fights in a relationship can wreck it completely in the long run.
Yes, it takes time to recover from a heated argument, especially if the issue at hand is of a serious nature, and reconnect with your partner. Nonetheless, you should not give up trying. Here are some ways to resolve a fight and further strengthen your connection with each other.
1. Resolve a big fight by giving space
The delicate balance between space and togetherness is essential for building a wholesome relationship. This becomes even more imperative after a fight. So give each other some space and time, so that you can both calm down. In fact, you can ask your partner to give you some space to settle down and organise your thoughts.
Use this time apart to think rationally about the issue at hand as well as your relationship. Chances are, some careful introspection will help you get over the anger.
2. Engage in a healthy conversation
Once you have calmed calming down, try to engage in a healthy conversation with your significant other with the objective of mending your injured relationship.
Steer clear of restarting arguments or shifting blame at this point. Remember you're both on the same side here and do not want to hurt one another. A healing conversation after a fight is essential to fix a relationship.
3. Say sorry
A sincere, heartfelt apology is one of the basic and simplest things you can do to resolve a fight. Yet, with egos at play, it often becomes the hardest. You know it in your gut when you're in the wrong and it's a sign of courage, not weakness, to own up to one's mistakes.
So, admit your mistake and let your partner know you're sorry. If saying it in as many words is hard, you can explore some cute little ways to say sorry and make your loved one smile. When the equation is reversed, your partner too will feel encouraged to follow suit.
4. Shower them with love
Fights can instil doubts about one's decision to be with their partner. The only way to reinforce the belief that you both belong together, and a fight – no matter how big or nasty – is a mere bump in the road is to shower them with love and affection.
These expressions of love can either be verbal or reflected through gestures such as hugging, kissing, planning a surprise date or even a romantic getaway. After an argument how long should you wait to resolve it? Our advice would be to do it as quickly as possible. Festering and sulking after a fight is a strict no-no.
5. Prioritise your relationship
Prioritising your relationship and partner is one of the best ways to repair the damage caused by a big fight. Let your partner know you cannot stand the idea of being apart from your partner and make them believe that they're most important to you.
Neglecting your loved one after a fight will only make things worse. That's why stonewalling after a fight can have adverse effects on the relationship.
Related reading: How to apologise to someone you love – so they know you mean it sincerely
8 Ways To Reconnect After A Big Fight
A nasty fight has the potential to destabilise your relationship because when tempers run high, people tend to say hurtful things to each other.
Your priority should be to resolve your differences and reconcile. However, that may not be easiest when you're dealing with a major issue. These 8 ways to reconnect after a big fight can help.
1. Communicate sincerely
Communication is the key to a healthy and happy relationship. It also proves to be a vital tool in helping couples reconnect after a big fight. So, make the effort to initiate open, honest conversation after the fight has been resolved.
Tell your partner what hurt you the most and keep an open mind when they tell you the same. This helps in weeding any latent, residual issues that can keep piling up, setting in motion a vicious circle of fights.
2. Avoid giving cold shoulder to your partner
It is natural to need some time to calm down after a fight. It helps you gather your thoughts and understand the situation at hand. However, you've resolved the fight, avoid giving the cold shoulder to your partner or resorting to the silent treatment, even if you're feeling some residual anger.
This will only alienate your partner and further complicate the dynamics of your relationship. If you cannot bring yourself to be your usual self around your partner, tell them that you need more time to get back to normal.
Feeling upset and emotionally vulnerable after a big fight is understandable. Even as you work toward processing these negative emotions, be mindful of that fact that prolonging a fight can do more harm than good.
Make an earnest effort to get a grip on your emotions and try to break the ice by indulging in an activity that you and your partner enjoy doing together. This will give you an opportunity to bond, and counter the distance and negativity in the relationship.
4. Think about the good times
One of the time-tested ways to reconnect after a big fight is to think of the good times you've had together. This will also serve as a reminder of why you and your partner fell in love with each other. Go over your old pictures or reminisce a romantic trip you took together can help end this spell of anger and bickering.
In its place, you will feel a sense of warmth and affection, which will positively help you connect with your significant other again.
5. See things from their point of view
A difference in opinions is the underlying cause of most fights. Your divergent views on an issue can lead to misunderstanding, conflict and lack of communication. It is only natural that you and your partner will not agree on everything.
The mature way of handling such differences is to appreciate the other person's perspective rather than dismiss it. This will help you nurture your relationship into a sanctuary that allows you both to thrive as individuals and a couple.
Related reading: The top 3 reasons why couples keep fighting about the same things
6. Don't rush into things
Recovery and healing in a relationship after a fight take time. You may have resolved the dispute but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have bounced back from the setback fully. So, don't rush to reconnect after a big fight.
Take the time you need to be at peace with the fact that something unpleasant and nasty has transpired between you two before you try to go back to your happy space. During this time, avoid being clingy or nagging your partner.
7. Acknowledge your part in the fight
This is the most difficult but also one of the most essential aspects of strengthening your bond after it has taken a hit due to fighting. It always takes two to tango. Even if in your mind, the fight was your partner's fault, you must have played a role in it.
Perhaps, you said or did things that further aggravated a potentially volatile situation. Acknowledge your part and own up to your actions in front of your partner. This will go a long way in letting them know that you truly want to put this unpleasant occurrence in your past and reconnect to build a stronger bond.
Related Reading: 6 Reasons A Guy Ignores You After A Fight And 5 Things You Can Do
8. Stick to your rituals
Every couple has certain rituals they follow religiously. You know the small acts of togetherness like having meals together, doing grocery shopping together, planning a date night every week and so on, that really define your relationship.
Once you have resolved a fight and want to reconnect with your partner, make sure you get these rituals back on track. Don't wait for your partner to take initiative, don't overthink how they'll react. Just do it. Find creative ways to make up after a fight.
No relationship is immune to storms and upheavals. The wise thing to do is brace yourself to face those storms and work on building a relationship strong even to survive the worst setbacks.
FAQs
1. Can a relationship go back to normal after a big fight?
Yes it is possible. It entirely depends on how you acknowledge your role in the fight, and try to resolve the issues that triggered it. Most couples go back to normal after a fight but it all depends on the issue you are fighting about. If it's a serious issue then it might take time for normalcy to return.
2. How long should I give him space after a fight?
A day or two is fine but if it gets prolonged after that then he is giving you the silent treatment, which is not the right thing to do. In that case it becomes emotional abuse.
3. How long should a fight last in a relationship?
A fight should get resolved as quickly as possible. The longer it prolongs it creates resentment, bitterness and frustration. The common saying is you should resolve a fight before you go to bed.
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Source: https://www.bonobology.com/reconnect-after-big-fight/